So, here it is, Friday January 29th and as of right now I am in mid air! That's right, this morning I took my giant leap of faith and walked out of work for the last tyme! I didn't even stay the day and say goodbye to everyone, I simply tied up all the loose ends I could think of, bid my farewells to those that were there and left the building with a spring in my stride!
I cannot help but be ecstatic when I consider all the horrible things I will no longer be forced to endure. I cannot help but smile when I think that never again will I be made to create something only to see it destroyed days later. No more can someone step all over me, forcing me to do things that others refuse to do! Indeed, the freedom I currently feel is of an unmeasurable magnitude!
Still, freedom aside, I cannot help but be sad when I think that the last three years and nine months, that's 1,365 days (roughly) of my life were all for naught, at least in the career aspect of them. To work tirelessly for a company for years only to have them state frankly that they do not care about your physical, emotional or mental well-being is something of a rude awakening, the proverbial 'punch in the gut' if you will. However, like all injuries of such nature, this too shall heal and I will do best to keep the lesson in the back of my mind as I hang here, airborne.
As for the other aspects of the last 1,365 days (roughly), I cannot help but feel thankful. In that tyme the, albeit smaller than it should have been, paycheck from the fist-wheeling company has helped me in pursuing other avenues of interest, such as my music and my photography. Above all, my tyme there also gave me the blessing of a good friend, a kindred spirit, something we Christians know is worth far more than anything money can procure.
Sitting here, analyzing the situation, I cannot believe the array of emotions I have at present nor can I believe the energy that my leap has so far required. Considering it's been merely hours since I sprung, I am certain that I am going to need all the prayers and support I can receive to land safely on the other side of the deep, black abyss I now have to cross.
In my quest for clarity I am reminded of a man named Jesus. I can scarcely begin to imagine how Jesus must have felt when He had to carry His cross into His deep, black abyss for ME! Whereas my wounds are merely surface scratches and will heal in tyme, His were deep beyond words and their scars will remain.
Unlike myself, Jesus, as the Son of God, knew exactly what was to happen to Him, something that makes His sacrifice go even father beyond my comprehension. He was willing to die a horrible death on the cross so that I could sit here and write about the unknown factors of my life! Even then, He loved me that much that He died, was buried and rose again so that one day He could take care of me!
It is with this in mind that I will attempt to seek that which He has in store for me, knowing fully that as I hang in the balance, it is His hand to which I cling. I pray that you will be there with me, holding His hand as you venture through every day, whether you know your path or not. For at the foot of the cross there is room for our burdens and in the palm God's hand there is room for us all.
Blessings,
~LK~
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